"With enough courage, you can do without a reputation." - Rhett Butler

"Coach, I can't breathe, I can't breathe!" I gasped for air and waved my hand to start the injury clock.  I ran across the wrestling mat, covered a nostril with one finger, and blew as hard as I could.  Thick, gooey snot sprayed across the gym.  I wiped my hand across my singlet, adjusted my wrestling head gear, and toed the line.  45 seconds after the whistle blew, I had another pin.

Coach C looked at me and said, "Damnit boy, that was gross, but if you can't breath, you f-ing can't breath.  Next time just pick your damn nose!"

It took fifteen years to see some real significance behind nose picking in wrestling season, but I see now that life is messy.  Generally, nose-picking is wrong, but in the context of an athletic competition, it is necessary.  And so often in life, what seems wrong is actually right.  In other words, there is alot more grey in life than there is black and white. 

I'm not advocating that everyone throw ethics to the window, but even the concrete rules seem not to be so solid.  For example, thou shalt not murder.  Simple enough, but isn't enforcing the death penalty technically murder.  Of course, advocates against the death penalty say it's wrong because it is murder, but typically those same advocates are pro-choice, and isn't abortion... Well, without getting too political, I just want to highlight the fact that grey is alot more prominent than black or white.

Look, five years ago, it was unfathomable to just walk away from a house and mortgage, but under changed circumstances, people do it all the time today. 

Ultimately, Alpha Males live by a a few, unshakable principles:

• respect
• competition
• simplicity

Unfortunately, there is an inherent conflict between principle and reality, which is where life's grey sea begins.  All too often, the right thing and the wrong thing are the same thing.  Recently, I've found life events that I thought would break me were actually more liberating and empowering than I'd ever imagined.

Evidently, Alpha Males do need a little rebel in them because nice guys finish last.  Look at this list of leading men with a little edge: Jack Bauer, Jack Nicholson, Bill Clinton, Muhammad Ali.

As I pick my nose and write this blog, I think Tupac may have been right: only god can judge me.  And I am left with the following questions:

• Is so much of life grey?
• What are those fundamental principles Alpha Males live by?
• What "bad boys" do you respect?
• When have you broken the rules in order to do the right thing?

"My name's Louden, Louden Swain. Last week I turned 18. I wasn't ready for it. I haven't done anything yet. So I made this deal with myself. This is the year I make my mark." - Louden Swain, Vision Quest



I'd be writing for hours if I tried to capsulate the past four months, so here is basically the table of contents to the Cliff Notes.

• XY, LLC is no longer trying to make a profit through speaking engagements, classes and the Mancathlon.
  • No time
  • I'm just one person
  • I got a corporate gig that pays the bills
  • The idea persists
• Project Dave was an Epic Success so there will be no more posts
  • Dave has an awesome girlfriend
  • Dave is getting his budget under control
  • Dave  runs almost daily and kicks butt on the tennis court
• Masculinity really is this simple
  • Have a steady pay check
  • Keep your mouth shut; When you speak, don't be wrong
  • Watch CNN and TMZ
  • Don't wear a brown belt with black shoes
  • Do at least 50 push ups a day
  • Have a reason to smile
• Likely topics to be discussed on this blog
  
  • old man games - poker, golf, tennis, bocce, rook
  • smoking pipes and cigars
  • scotch, wine, and craft beer
  • social media
  • careers
  • gender identity
  • fashion

“They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” - Andy Warhol

LISTEN!!! 

Seriously, that's it.  If you can learn to listen, you can learn to get people to like you, generate business leads, network successfully, and be a true Alpha Male.

Last night was the Steel Power Hour hosted by Lynn Lilly at Steel Restaurant and Lounge.  We had a great turnout with some 50+ people drinking Stoli Vodka, eating awesome Sushi, and mingling with Atlanta's best.  Hope to see more of you guys at the next Steel Power Hour.

Many people get jaded by networking events because of the seemingly inaneness of the whole thing.  Those are the people that spend the entire event talking about themselves. As Dale Carnegie says, "It's better to be interested than interesting." Seriously, take interest in what other people are doing and you won't have to promote yourself.

Just learn to listenHere are some sample conversation starters that are great for networking events:

• Where did you go to school?
• What's the best meal you've ever eaten?
• What's the coolest thing you ever bought off Ebay?
• What's the accomplishment you are most proud of?
• Any children? Grandchildren? Pets?

I hope you get the point that you need to be interested in other people instead of shamelessly promoting yourself.  Though seemingly counterintuitive, listening will get people more interested in you than talking about yourself will.